Scheduling conflicts leading to hilarity

So we're trying to schedule a night for our Skype group to keep playing our game of Contenders and failing. My friend Aaron just sent the following email. The fact that I laughed as hard as I did is proof that I am a nerd.

___________________

load libEmail
load libSnark
load libPasvAggr

set Kit
set Anna
set Travis
set Aaron
set Bacon to {Kit,Anna,Travis,Aaron}

get numberOfMeetingsToday from Anna
make numberOfMeetingsToday equal n
n equals 0

run all
tell gmail to send to Bacon
set To: to Bacon
set body to
if today equals {n+1}
then Anna equals Fail
else Anna equals Cool
print result of if {then or else}
endif
endtell

idle for 5 minutes

tell gmail to send Bacon
set To: to Bacon
set body to
if Anna equals Fail
then set Aaron to cry
endif
also
get makeUpDay
if makeUpDay equals Friday
then set Aaron to unavailable
endif
endtell

while running
if Aaron is set to cry and unavailable
call for Kit to equal {head - 1}
set house to burn
endif

while running
set Travis to doucheBag
also
Travis tell {Kit,Anna} sendToDisplay "You can all suck my balls!"
set Travis to flippingYouOff

end run all